"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan  

WWWP - Running late? Deal with it.

As you probably know, I see a lot of advanced screenings. If you didn't know that, well, now you do. A pass is required to attend these screenings, and on this pass it says to arrive at the theater at least an hour EARLY because you cannot be guaranteed a seat. Not all of the screenings are completely filled, but most of them come pretty close. A lot of times you can arrive late and still find a seat up front, but if you want a good seat then you better show up early.

At a recent screening, a guy and his girlfriend sauntered into the theater about 10 minutes before show time. The theater was pretty full at this point with just a few seats remaining up front. But what did the guy do? He strolled up the stairs (with his knuckles scraping the steps of course) and started looking for two seats in the middle. I really don't know what the point was because even Stevie Wonder could see that the only seats available were up front. Was the guy hoping everybody in the theater would clear a path for him and create two prime seats right in the center? Dude, you ain't Moses, and this ain't the Red Sea.

He couldn't find any open seats in the middle, so he yelled out, "Are there two seats together in the middle anywhere?!?!?!?!" The guy, displaying an apparent phobia of patience, waited about TWO SECONDS for a response before he became a real jerk and sarcastically said, "Thanks a lot for helping me, I reeeeeeally appreciate it everybody."

What followed was truly hilarious. A little old lady yelled out, "There were plenty of good seats at 6:30!" I laughed. The crowd chuckled. The dude shut up. God smiled. Hey man, you just got punked out by somebody's grandmother, go enjoy your front row seats. Next time you're welcome to get here early LIKE IT SAYS TO DO ON THE PASS! It's a better way to go than yelling at everybody and looking like a real Mario Lopez. Is your name Josh Brolin or Charlize Theron? No? Then don't expect me to give up my seat for you. WHAT'S WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!?!?!?!

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