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Movie Review - Constantine (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Francis Lawrence |
| Starring: |
Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, and Djimon Hounsou |
| Rated: |
R (for violence and demonic images) |
| Length: |
121 minutes |
| Genre: |
Action/Comic Book |
| Tagline: |
Hell wants him. Heaven won't take him. Earth needs him. |
| Studio: |
Warner Bros. |
| Website: |
Constantine |
| Release: |
February 18, 2005 |
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PLOT
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Constantine (Reeves) has the ability to see the half-breed demons and angels who walk the
earth in human form. At an early age, Constantine decided he couldn't live with these visions
and attempted to take his own life. However, he was resuscitated and ever since then has been
sending demons back to Hell in a desperate attempt to win God's favor.
A police detective (Weisz) enlists his help to solve the mysterious death (or was it a suicide?) of
her twin sister (Weisz), so Constantine introduces her to the world of angels and demons and the two
join together on a journey that will result in a face-to-face meeting with Satan himself. The least
intimidating Satan I've ever seen ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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"What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager, a kind of standing bet for the souls
of all mankind."
That's the running theme of Constantine. God and Satan are apparently gamblin' buddies, and a
condition of their bet is that neither one can have direct contact with humans. However, they are
allowed to attempt to influence through intermediaries. For some reason, Satan seems to be more aggressive
in using his intermediaries. The only hope mankind has is Constantine whose job is to keep the balance
between good and evil.
The problem is Constantine is only in this for himself. He's definitely no saint. He drinks hard, smokes
hard, and wants no admiration or thanks for his work. He has no desire to save the world, only a
desperation to save himself. The only reason he fights the demonic half-breeds is to try to buy his way
into Heaven, despite the fact that he refers to God as a kid with an ant farm. Yeah, that'll win you points
with the big guy.
Consistently dark, intense, and moody, Constantine effectively builds and surrounds us with a
malevolent, demonic atmosphere. I found myself intrigued by the story even though it sometimes relied
on unnecessary manipulation of Biblical concepts. I can handle such poetic license on a fictional level ...
to a degree. But come on, can't we at least have some confines we work within? Satan can choose to send a
soul from Hell to Heaven as a favor to someone? Puh-lease. What if Constantine was a Nazi sympathizer?
Let's imagine an awkward scenario one morning in Heaven:
God: Hitler? What in the cosmos are you doing HERE? Didn't I send you to Hell?
Hitler: Yes zoo deed. But Constantine offered hees soul to Satan if he'd send me to
Heaven.
God: Huh. I think we've got a major loophole that needs closing here.
Now granted, the soul that Satan sends to Heaven in the movie isn't evil, but the theory is that Satan has
the option of releasing someone's soul. The movie places no boundary on his ability to do that. Nor does it
give us any idea why God doesn't have a say in this matter. Maybe I'm being a bit of a stickler, but it
would have been more effective to play within the rules that we commonly accept in regard to Heaven
and Hell.
And while we're on the subject of Satan ... is it too much to ask that the Prince of Darkness be presented
in such a way that my first reaction upon seeing him appear on screen is NOT to burst out in laughter?
According to Constantine, Satan's an old guy who wears a white pimp suit and talks with a hiss and a
lisp. As he was slowly lowered from the ceiling I was expecting a disco ball to follow him.
You don't have to give Satan horns and a pitchfork, but please make him somewhat menacing. He should be
someone I'd be at least somewhat intimidated by if I saw him in person rather than someone whose appearance
induces fits of laughter. And if you don't want to make him menacing, couldn't you make him
semi-serious? Whenever he talked all I could think about was Jim Carrey in The Mask. I would not
have been at all surprised if he had said something akin to, "Sssssssomebody ssssssstop me!"
Some of you may like a gay cheesy Satan, but I was disappointed. Especially when the rest of the movie is
so effectively dark and foreboding. Why try to lighten things up with a Satan who looks like he should be
on stage with KC and the Sunshine Band?
Up until Satan's "ssssssssmokin'" grand entrance, I thoroughly enjoyed what I was watching and was willing
to deal with some of the more suspect details of the storyline. I was expecting the level of intensity to
remain high and I was completely ready for a knockout finale. Unfortunately, ol' Lucifer's gut-busting,
aisle-rolling, ridiculous appearance put a damper on those expectations. I HATE YOU SATAN!
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Based on the DC Comics/Vertigo Hellblazer series of graphic novels.
- In Hellblazer, John Constantine is from Liverpool. However, in the movie he is from California. Too
bad. It'd have been hilarious to watch Keanu try to pull off an English accent. He failed miserably in
Dracula, so I'm sure this would've produced equally hilarious results.
- Weisz's research for her role included sessions with a police consultant for instruction in
gun-handling and body language, and a local Los Angeles psychic.
- The angel Gabriel (Tilda Swinton) is portrayed by a woman dressed in male clothing in an
effort to keep Gabriel from appearing dominantly male or female.
- Nicolas Cage was originally set to star but dropped out when director Tarsem Singh left the picture.
Ironically, Singh left the picture because he didn't want Cage in the lead role.
- Director Francis Lawrence is best known for his award-winning direction on music videos. He has
helmed videos for "artists" such as Justin Timberlake, Britney Spears, Janet Jackson, and Will Smith.
- Lawrence's premise for the movie is that Heaven and Hell exist as parallel dimensions occupying the
same space and that there is a heavenly and a hellish version of every spot on earth.
- The look of the seplatives (demonic scavengers that roam the streets of Hell) was inspired by photos Lawrence
had seen of medical cadavers with their brains removed.
- Keanu doesn't say "whoa" in the movie.
- STAY UNTIL AFTER THE END CREDITS!
- Rachel Weisz was in The Mummy with Brendan Fraser who was in Encino Man with Sean Astin who was
in The Goonies with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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There are quite a few dark, violent, and intense scenes that definitely make this inappropriate for pre-teens.
The movie wasn't replete with profanity, but it's enough to get a few uncomfortable sighs from mama.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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I'd have to say that the trailer is pretty representative of what to expect from the movie except for how
cheesy Satan is.
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THE GIST
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Overall, Constantine is an interesting and entertaining little dark comic book thriller. Keanu
Reeves does a good job of staying within his limited acting range, Rachel Weisz is both sexy and believable
in her role, and there's enough substance here to hold your attention. Just be prepared for the hokey
interpretations of Heaven and Hell and Disco Satan because they keep the movie from being as good as it
could have been. I think it's a good movie to see on the big screen, but I'd make it a matinee.
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