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Movie Review - Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Tim Burton |
| Starring: |
Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, a bunch of kids, and some old people |
| Rated: |
PG (for quirky situations, action and mild language) |
| Length: |
115 minutes |
| Genre: |
Fantasy/Family |
| Tagline: |
The Factory Opens July 2005. |
| Studio: |
Warner Bros. |
| Website: |
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory |
| Release: |
July 15, 2005 |
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PLOT
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It's been 15 years since Willy Wonka's (Depp) pale face has seen the light of day. Workers aren't seen going
in or out of the chocolate factory, but somehow Wonka's chocolate is still being made and shipped all over the
world. One day Wonka announces that he has placed 5 golden tickets in random bars of chocolate, and they could
be anywhere in the world. The 5 kids who find the tickets will be invited to visit Wonka's chocolate factory and
will be made privy to all its magic and secrets.
One child will be chosen to receive the grandest prize of them all. One by one, the children's flaws and selfishness
get them in trouble and eliminated from the competition. But one kid, Charlie Bucket, seems to have a grasp on
what's most important in life. The 42nd remake of the Summer ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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First off, let me just point out the following:
1. I have never read the book.
2. I have never watched Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in its entirety.
If you're finished picking your bottom lip up off the ground then we can continue. Why does everybody act so
shocked when I reveal I have never watched the original Willy Wonka from start to finish? People act like I've
deliberately sinned in the literal presence of God when I tell them this, as if I've back-handed Him and boasted,
"There's more where that came from, old man." Come on, people, don't look so shocked. The movie wasn't THAT big
of a hit ($4 million at the box office). Granted, it's a popular kid's movie, but still. The good news is that
I can offer you a completely unbiased opinion.
I have to admit that I wasn't exactly peeing my pants to see this movie. And if I *had* been peeing my pants just
to see a movie then it would've probably been in my best interest to seek medical help. But the trailer gave me
no desire to see it. The main problem in my mind was Willy Wonka just looked too goofy. The fact that he made me
think of Michael Jackson didn't help. Despite the ruling of twelve jurors, I still wouldn't trust the guy to own
a chocolate factory and invite kids to it. So admittedly, I went into the movie with the expectations of Tom
Cruise at an amusement park with height restrictions - hope for the best but expect the worst.
"All right, Johnny, if you're done being cute can you please tell us if the movie far exceeded your
expectations?"
Well, it's a'ight, but I'd say "far exceeded" is a bit much. Visually the movie looks great, the storytelling is
smooth and presents an interesting morality tale, Freddie Highmore is quite good as Charlie Bucket (the only
non-annoying kid in the movie), and the chocolate world looks realistic enough that I was seriously craving candy
while watching it.
But on the flip side, the movie ran a little slow in parts, Willy Wonka had a tendency to be too weird for what
seemed like the sake of just being weird, and I didn't care for the Oompa Loompas. After being told that the
Oompa Loompas were creepy, I was quite disappointed. They're about as scary as being attacked by a bat-wielding
midget in a gunfight. I know that probably doesn't make much sense to you, and I'm sure that may sound freaky, but
if you've ever been in the situation then you'd really know. Oh you'd know.
It's a mildly entertaining flick, but I really have no need to see it again. It neither captivated me nor enraged
me to such a degree that I feel compelled to convince you one way or another on whether you should see it.
I will point out that Stephanie and my cousin Nicholas are both fans of the original, and they both agree that it's
better than this remake. Stephanie's main complaint was that all of the Oompa Loompa songs are different and
nowhere near as good as the originals. They definitely tried to jazz things up a bit, but I found it annoying
that some of the lyrics are hard to understand. When you're singing lyrics about why each of the kids is bad
then that's part of the storytelling, and I shouldn't be forced to strain my ears to hear.
But what I really want to know is why people think Johnny Depp running into glass and falling down is so funny? It
happens twice and the audience howled with laughter each time while I sat there stone-faced. I can only imagine
how hard everybody would've laughed if Willy Wonka had farted and fell down at the same time. Some people are so
easily amused.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- Do "quirky situations" really call for a PG rating?
- Josh Brolin was the first choice to play Tom Hanson in 21 Jump Street. Johnny Depp was chosen after
Brolin decided to do Private Eye instead. Josh would later guest-star on an episode (My Future's So Bright,
I Gotta Wear Shades) as Taylor Rolator. Man, what an awesome name.
- Over 200,000 gallons of fake chocolate were made for the river, and almost 40,000 gallons were used for the
chocolate waterfall.
- Nestlé provided 1850 bars of real chocolate.
- Johnny loves chocolate. He hates Peeps though. He likes to call them Poops. He cracks himself up when he
does that. Family members just give him strange looks.
- Marilyn Manson supposedly wanted to play Willy Wonka. Yeah.
- I was watching Johnny Depp on Leno and he said he fashioned his portrayal of Wonka after a
combo of the hosts of kid shows (like Captain Kangaroo, Mr. Greenjeans, and Mr. Rogers) and Wink Martindale
type game show hosts.
- Johnny Depp was in Ed Wood with Patricia Arquette who was in Nightwatch with Josh Brolin who was
in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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This is pretty safe for the whole family. I read somewhere that somebody involved in the movie said this is
not for kids. That it's too dark. Balderdash. I wish it had been darker, more along the lines of
Lemony Snicket. Oh well.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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It's a little better than the trailer led me to believe it would be.
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THE GIST
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Go with your instinct. Are you dying to see it? Well, if you're actually dying to see this movie then
you should probably go see a doctor. No movie should bring near death upon anybody. But once you find some
treatment then it's probably worth it to you to check out. I know the people at the screening I attended loved
it. So be it. But if the trailer does nothing to intrigue you, and if you didn't even like the original, then
save your money. This is one of those movies I'd personally wait to make a rental or catch on TV.
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