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Movie Review - Balls of Fury (2007)
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(What this rating means)
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| Director: |
Ben Garant |
| Starring: |
Dan Fogler, Christopher Walken, George Lopez, Maggie Q, and James Hong |
| Rated: |
PG-13 (for crude and sex-related humor, and for language) |
| Length: |
90 minutes |
| Genre: |
Comedy |
| Tagline: |
A huge comedy with tiny balls |
| Studio: |
Rogue Pictures |
| Website: |
Balls of Fury |
| Release: |
August 29, 2007 |
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PLOT
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Down-and-out former professional Ping-Pong phenom Randy Daytona (Fogler) is sucked into the table tennis underground when FBI Agent Rodriguez
(Lopez) recruits him for a secret mission. Randy is determined to bounce back and recapture his former glory, and to smoke out his father's (Robert Patrick)
killer - one of the FBI's Most Wanted, arch-fiend Feng (Walken). Christopher Walken's cashing of yet another paycheck ensues.
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JOHNNY'S TAKE
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Taxi. The Pacifier. Herbie Fully Loaded. Let's Go to Prison. Night at the Museum.
If this list of movies is an accurate representation of your DVD collection, then my friends, you either have a young child in the house or a strange fetish for average-to-below average
comedies. Or "absolutely dreadful" in the case of Jimmy Fallon's Taxi. *shudders* I'm still trying to erase memories of that steamer from my mind.
Other than being part of the aforementioned pathetically sad DVD collection, do you know what else each of these movies has in common? They're all written by Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon,
the duo who wrote, produced, and directed Balls of Fury. Are you trying to decide whether or not this is a film worthy of your time and money? Please let my above revelation stand as
"enough said."
In all honesty, what can you expect when you take a poor man's Jack Black and give him the starring role in a poor man's Dodgeball? A little thing
I like to refer to as "not much." Dan Fogler gives it the ol' college try, but perhaps the material is to blame for his mostly forgettable performance. He delivers a couple
of laugh-out-loud moments, but by the time he's lip-synching to Def Leppard you'll be asking yourself, "So who's this guy, and why is he doing a bad karaoke impersonation of 'Jack
Black Meets Sam Kinison'?"
I will give Balls of Fury three credits - 1) Maggie Q is adorable, 2) The film rightfully never takes itself too seriously, and 3) It's nowhere near as filthy as I expected. At
the top of my notebook I wrote, "Balls/Genitalia References" and I was set to keep track. I just knew they were going to fly off the screen fast and furious, especially judging by
the "a huge comedy with tiny balls" tagline. So I was quite shocked when the grand total was only one, and that one was merely Maggie Q's character disgustedly relaying an example
of the comments she was forced to deal with from male players.
What more can I say about a film whose crowning achievement is, "Well, I didn't expect much, and it wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen, so whatever"? That certainly doesn't send
you rushing to purchase a ticket, now does it? It'll be on TNT or TBS soon enough so just have patience and watch a few legitimately good comedies in the interim. There'll come a
time when you're flipping channels, nothing else is on, and you'll cruise across this. You can decide then whether you want to sit through all of it. The end result will likely be
a long email thanking me for saving you $8.
Before I commence, let me once again bring attention to my above "poor man's Dodgeball" quote. I overheard several disappointed people say, "I thought
it'd be like Dodgeball." What's that? Yeah, they said it in unison, Wisenheimer. Now shut up. The consensus? It's not even close. So if that was
the opinion you formed after watching the trailer then dismiss that notion immediately. It's an interesting concept that probably contains about ten minutes of solid comedic
material.
What ultimately happens when you stretch that over an hour and a half? Unfortunately, the jokes suffer from what I like to call the "Kate Moss, Heather Mills McCartney, and
post-2000 Muhammad Ali Syndrome." In other words, they're flat, lame, and they pack no punch. Let's see them put THAT on the DVD cover.
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ODDS & ENDS
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- One day, the writing duo of Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon saw a news item about a Ping-Pong champion who, says Lennon, "couldn't walk down the street without being mobbed, as
if he were a rock star." Cross-breeding that concept with their penchant for martial arts, the pair wrote a screenplay to rectify the fact that one of the world's most popular sports
hadn't yet been exploited in motion pictures.
- Producers and Spyglass Entertainment Group co-chairmen and CEOs Roger Birnbaum and Gary Barber note, "As screenwriters, Tom and Ben had delivered a big hit movie for us with
The Pacifier, and so we bought this project at the pitch stage knowing they would deliver."
- It's a sad state of affairs when Hollywood is willing to blindly support a project just because the makers of The Pacifier are behind it. THAT'S considered a
standard these days? Oh brother.
- Spyglass Entertainment president Jonathan Glickman notes, "Several actors were interested in playing Randy Daytona, but we had to find someone who was a terrific comic actor but
who would also jell with an ensemble."
Birnbaum and Barber add, "The actor playing Randy had to be highly physical, intelligent, and charming. It was Dan Fogler who best met all of those criteria."
- The above is code for "Jack Black wouldn't return our phone calls."
- Oscar winner Christopher Walken, who has become an icon to moviegoers because of his eclectic body of work, plays the film's über-villain, the notorious Feng. Walken remarks,
"When I read the script, the first thing I noticed was how good Tom and Ben's dialogue was. I felt Feng would be an interesting character to play. And I can still play Ping-Pong
pretty well; it was very popular when I was a kid."
- Sadly, it appears that Walken is either senile or illiterate.
- Johnny loves to play ping pong. He used to dominate his opponents in high school. One day he was playing in the gym after school, right outside the baseball team's locker
room (a team of which young Johnny was a member). One of the most hated teachers in the school was in the gym overlooking cheerleading practice. I know what you're thinking - no, she
was not hot. She was about 60 and did not look like anybody who should have anything to do with cheerleading.
She angrily approached Johnny and his opponent and rudely asked, "By whose authority are you in here?" Johnny replied, "Coach Holt's authority." "Who's Coach Holt?" she
dismissively asked. "He's the baseball coach," Johnny stalwartly responded. "And does he coach ping pong?" she inquired sarcastically. "Yes, he doubles as the baseball
coach and ping pong coach," Johnny replied with equal parts sarcasm and stoicism.
Ms. Whitehead exploded, threatening to take Johnny and his smart aleck mouth to the office. She wasn't accustomed to a student standing up to her, so she obviously
didn't know how to respond. She merely left her threat lingering in the air and stormed away. Johnny was long considered a hero by the students who witnessed the event, one
that would come to be known as the "Betts/Whitehead Showdown."
- For the entire movie I thought George Lopez was actually Paul Rodriguez. It wasn't until the closing credits that I realized I was mistaken.
- Christopher Walken was in Gigli with Al Pacino (try to wrap your head around THAT) who was The Devil's Advocate with Charlize Theron who is in In the Valley
of Elah with Josh Brolin who was in Hollow Man with Kevin Bacon.
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MAMA'S APPROVAL
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I don't know that mama would approve, but this is nowhere near as dirty and crude as I expected. Language is fairly mild, and the sex-related humor is mostly non-existent. A couple of
references to male genitalia are the biggest offenses. I wouldn't let your 8-year-old see it, but the PG-13 rating is fair.
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TRAILER COMPARISON
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After watching the trailer I deemed the movie to be one of those films that I didn't expect much from but had slight hope that I'd get more than I was expecting. Well, I didn't.
It wasn't an absolute offensive waste of time, but there are much better alternatives with which your time and money can be spent.
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THE GIST
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There's not a single thing about Balls of Fury that needs to be witnessed on the big screen. If you have an unhealthy interest in seeing the film then wait for it to hit cable
TV or grab it from one of those $1 kiosks. Better yet, let a friend rent it and go over to his house.
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