Movie Minutiae - Yo Movie is So...
By Johnny Betts, Moviegoer Advocate
Contact Johnny
Everybody here has heard "Yo Mama" jokes, right? You know, "Yo mama is so short that when she sits on the curb
she can swing her legs." A lot of times they're pretty stupid, but that can be the fun of it. So allow me
to introduce a brand new section. With these "Yo Movie is So..." jokes, you'll know exactly what
to say when you meet an actor or a director who made a movie that was painful for you to sit through. Stockpile
these and be ready to pull out the ammunition whenever needed! Feel free to
email me your own.
Johnny Betts:
Yo Movie is so slow-paced that it took 3 hours to finish it's 90 minute runtime. OHHHHHH! Burn!
Yo Movie is so cheesy that Velvetta has its number on speed dial to call for recipes! Faaaaaace!
Yo movie is so stupid that Karl Childers (Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade) looks at it and says,
"Hey, who's the moron?"
Guylian:
Yo movie so bad, people ran out of the theatre screaming - and it *wasn't* a horror film.
Yo movie so bad, even the people from The Golden Raspberry Awards won't see it.
Yo movies are so bad, Michael Pare won't return your phone calls.
Yo movie so predictable, I walked out after the opening credits, got a coffee, made a phone call, moved my car,
got another coffee, went back in and STILL guessed the ending in the final few minutes.
Yo movie so boring, I counted my popcorn instead.
Yo sequel so lame, I returned my copy of the original.
Yo movie so bad, even the Best Boy took his name off the credits.
Yo film so bad, Kodak refuses to supply you anymore.
Yo movie so bad, Stephan Baldwin is on Line 1 and wants to know if he can be in the sequel.
Yo movie is so bad I change the channel on its *trailers*.
Yo movie soundtrack is so lame even Kenny G returned his complimentary copy.
Yo movie's screenplay is so bad I thought I was watching an infomercial.
Yo movie's cast is so untalented they couldn't get work on The O.C.
Yo movie has more product placement than a supermarket at Christmas.
Laslo Hollyfeld:
Yo movie's dialogue is so bad, it even makes George Lucas wince.
Yo movie is so lame your own husband has edited you out of the final cut! (Madonna only)
Yo movie soundtrack is so lame it even embarrasses Ladyhawke.
Yo movie is so sappy they're passing out pancakes instead of Kleenex at the theaters.
Mr. Shade:
Yo movie is so lame G~Dogg owns it on DVD.
Oooooooh! Sorry G~Dogg, but Kung Pow is indeed in your collection! Mr. Shade altered this one a little
bit, but it's got a movie connection...
Yo video game is so lame Uwe Boll won't direct the movie.
Stephanie:
Yo Movie is so stank that Michael Pare wishes he had starred in it.
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