"Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan  

Movie Minutiae - Scott Baio Facts

By Johnny Betts, Moviegoer Advocate
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From Johnny Betts:

  • Scott Baio does not sleep. He waits. Tables.
  • Scott Baio does not leave tips. He accepts them. After you've finished your meal.
  • Scott Baio can't divide by zero, but he is familiar with the number considering it represents his current income.
  • When Rice Krispies see Scott Baio they don't say, "Snap, Crackle, and Pop" - they laugh and say, "Don't worry; he can't afford us. He'll buy an off-brand."
  • Scott Baio admits that he'll occasionally catch himself singing the Charles in Charge theme song ... at YOUR party or event for a small fee.
  • Scott Baio can once again be seen on TV screens this Fall when he starts his new job cleaning TV screens with a squeegee.
  • Scott Baio doesn't read scripts he... oh wait, there's no joke here because he doesn't receive scripts.
From Movie Mark Paul:

  • Scott Baio could have any woman he wants, provided she is in menopause.
  • Charles is still in charge, but this now refers to Scott Baio's loan shark, Charles Morelli.
  • A Scott Baio life story was in the works, but the only actor available for the part was Scott Baio. It was quickly cancelled.
  • Scott Baio is a staple to the acting industry. Literally. He holds papers together for other actors.
  • Scott Baio was once mobbed by photographers. There was a celebrity behind him, and he was in the way.
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