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| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
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MOVIE HORROR STORIESBy Guylian I like movies. In fact, I Really Like Movies. So much so that quite often I'll follow a film from pre-development (i.e. rumour) stage all the way through production and finally, screening. I'm extraordinarily fussy with my film-going experience too. I want – no, NEED – the best seat in the house – so I'll get to the theatre ridiculously early to make sure I get it. I WANT time to settle in and make sure all my movie snacks are in easy reach. I WANT to watch the trailers. And I have no time for latecomers who happily push their way through everyone's seats and create loud disruptions just as the movie is starting. But it was at a screening of Memento that I encountered the worst case of rudeness regarding tardy moviegoers. I'd gotten to the movie theatre early – in fact I'd been hanging around the shopping centre killing time for two hours, as I'd just missed the start of the previous session due to a late arriving bus, and as I've written above, I hate getting in late to movies. I'd bought my ticket an hour before the advertised screening time. I was already waiting outside the theatre door as the staff cleaned up after the previous session. And I was first in, best seated, and settled in comfortably as my fellow movie patrons slowly trickled in over the next twenty minutes. Boy, was I relaxed. Chocolate only made things better. But it was the first of the evening sessions, and the theatre began to fill up. Uh-oh, I thought – I *hate* sitting next to strangers in the movies. It's the cinematic equivalent of a crowded bus commute. I must have been sending off vibes, because the people on either side graciously left a seat between me and them. The rest of the seats were all completely filled, but the film was seconds away from starting. Surely NO ONE else would arrive THIS late. Can you guess what happened next? The final trailer had played, and the film was about to begin when TWO HORRIBLE LATECOMERS entered. They scanned the seats for a space – and of course, the only spaces left were the ones either side of me. They pushed through, looked at me, and asked me to move over one seat so they could sit together. I had no choice. Barely controlling my anger, I moved. I watched as one of them sat in my perfect seat, with perfect sound and perfect views, as her friend sat down next to her. The movie had already started. I was livid. I was now off-centre to both the screen and the sound, and even one seat over was enough to make the difference in that small theatre. Not that I could see as much of the screen, as the guy in front of me was far taller than his companion that I was previously sitting behind. In the end it was lucky that Memento's hook was repeating the same scenes over and over, as by the third repeat I generally saw enough to know what was going on. The arrogance of The Horrible Latecomers still riles me to this day – How DARE you turn up so late to an evening session of a popular film, expecting that seats will be easy to find, and that the other audience members will gladly give up paying attention to the movie to accommodate you? Go home and watch reality television, you disrespectful sods. Or go to some quickly churned out Adam Sandler drudge instead so I won't have to put up with you ruining my cinematic experience. If you do choose to go and see a highly anticipated, well-reviewed film in the Big Person's Theatre, have some respect for your fellow movie goers – some of us have been looking forward to seeing this film for years. And try not to [tick] off the single gal in the centre seat who got there waaayyyy before you did. Johnny: What's wrong with Adam Sandler? Moral of the Story: If you get to the theater late and you notice Guylian with empty seats around her, then please, just let her be. And for next time remember that there are always more seats available 20 minutes before the start of the movie than 2 minutes before the start. Send your stories to me and let the whole world know just how dangerous going to the movies can be. |
HOME PAGE  Yes Man Transporter 3 Four Christmases Twilight Quantum of Solace Ghouls Eagle Eye Righteous Kill Tropic Thunder  Weekend Results: 1. Watchmen($55,214,334) 2. Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail($8,532,412) 3. Taken($7,334,814) 4. Slumdog Millionaire($6,808,383) 5. Paul Blart: Mall Cop($4,146,316) |
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Copyright © 2004 The Movie Mark. All Rights Reserved. No reproduction of these reviews or any of the original material on this site is allowed without prior permission from Johnny Betts. Comply or suffer the consequences of Johnny's size 11 biker boot. Wanna be a Movie Mark? Send Johnny Betts an email (johnny_betts@hotmail.com) to be added to the list or complete: The Movie Mark Questionnaire.
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