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| "Johnny Betts is a rude 'abnoxious' jerk who needs to be 'punced' in the face."- A grammatically-challenged non-fan |
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MOVIE HORROR STORIESby Dana My friend Corbyn and I go to see Finding Nemo. We intentionally pick a date and time to minimize on the kids. Of course it's a kids' movie so you can't totally escape them, and hey, I love kids. Anyhoo... The movie has just started and a woman comes in with her 4 kids ranging in age from (I'm guessing here) 7 or 8 on down to 2 or 3? About a third of the way into the movie the woman leaves to go to the bathroom? Presumably. I swear to you that about 20 minutes or more goes by and she's still not back. The "mom" in me is wondering if she is okay and who's watching these kids. The toddler is up and down and up and down the aisle. Anyway... Just as I am seriously considering getting up to make sure the woman didn't slip/fall and hit her head in the bathroom she comes back. She sits down and a few minutes later her cell phone rings. Okay, it happens. But she does NOT frantically reach to turn it off apologetically. She answers the bloody thing and this is what I hear: "What up gurrl? Nah, not doing anything ... out with these d**n kids." At this point, I get up and tap her on the shoulder and say, "Excuse me, some of us are trying to watch a movie. It's about good parenting; you might want to pay attention." She flails her arm around and screams out, "Don't you touch me!" A bit melodramatic for a light tap in my opinion, but she gets off the phone. I had visions of the woman and me getting into an altercation once the movie ended, but she bolted out of there. For a brief moment I thought I might actually end up making a scene and/or going to blows in the theatre. I kept thinking about the possible headlines. Can you imagine a fist fight breaking out during a children's flick? Johnny: Great comment regarding the "good parenting," and the image of the woman flailing her arms around is hilarious. When will people learn? Moral of the Story: If you're not going to find a babysitter then you might try taking care of your kids yourself. And please, don't answer the cell phone. Send your stories to me and let the whole world know just how dangerous going to the movies can be. |
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